The Lost Abbey, an ingeniously themed brewer of beers, came under attack for their Witch's Wit label by Wacky Wiccans and Poppycock Pagans. The brewery's theme of Good vs. Evil drives each beers' original artwork and backstory. As usual, there are some folks who just don't get it.
"In the beginning there was Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. They were told not to eat the fruit from the apple tree.They were tempted by the serpent and made a "choice" to eat from the tree. Their actions were not preordained but rather the actions of beings with free will. At every fork in the road, there are signs marking the struggle of Good vs. Evil. The Lost Abbey was imagined as part of a crusade in this ongoing story of Good vs. Evil beer. Everywhere we turn these days, there is a battle being waged between those who make good beer and those who make evil beer."
Read the article in the NY Times and Lost Abbey's response to see how the story unfolded. The Saint's favorite comment from the Lost Abbey post came from Ramen the True Believer (see below). Anywhere ignorance shows it dim, pudgy face, our brethren will be there to defend truth, justice, and the noodlan way.
True Believer says:
Dear Lost Abbey,
I am a Pastafarian and follower of the One True Creator, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. (May his noddly appendages reach out and touch us all.) I am deeply offended by your labels and the entire nature of this discussion.
Witches were created by Christians to scare children, sell Harry Potter books, and distract the massess from the fact that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe after going off his meds for a couple days (thus creating the flawed Earth we have today). Our Absolute Devine Beings, the Pirates, have been vilified, outcast and otherwise emotionally damaged by the Christian Church since the Middle Ages.
Witches are mythical. Pirates are real. We are the true victims here.
We demand that you stop creating made-up pictures of mythical creatures to build phony controversy in order to sell a heretical beer. As we all know, Heaven contains both a beer volcano and a stripper factory, and your use of fire with a clothed woman on a beer is a thinly veiled mockery of our core beliefs.
You have seven days to compy with our demands. After that we will unleash the Marinara upon you. You would be wise to cooperate.
May the FSM’s noodly appendages embrace you.
Ramen.
